Grace Assembly of God

 

Under construction- come back soon and often! To find out what God's spoken to the heart and mind of this simple follower of God, and to know how he's touched my life... and how I'm using those lessons to touch the lives of those int he community around us.

"When God Speaks" is a blog by Travis Dedmon. When God spoke to the leadership of Grace Assembly, He didn't simply ask us to put a church in the downtown area. He did however, ask us to reach an area that is filled with people who are hurting. Travis is one of the first of those who we have had the joy of seeing become a new creation in Christ.

If you have recently made a committment to follow Christ, you'll find that you can relate to the joy in his life as a result of discovering God's grace, as well as the unavoidable struggles and battles. If you have been following Christ for years, you'll find it refreshing to see things from a perspective which is easy for believers to lose touch with. As Travis shares what God is currently sharing with him, open your heart to the only God who speaks. 

  Travis

Thank you Chris, that truly is a gracious and courteous entrance- I could've done no better myself...

Yes, my name is Travis Dedmon and for my first post I'm going to simply give all of you a little bit of a backstory on me and where came from- mainly how I got to be where I am today.

Part of my story you'll find out in due time I'm sure, but this part is simply going to encompass only a couple of the truly life altering events that helped open my eyes to a much larger view of the world- and my own place in it. 

Starting in 2001, I was working in the medical field as a Certified Nurses Assistant at a nursing home called ManorCare- while during this time I was dealing with a multitude of personal demons from my past that I just couldn't shake on my own. The greatest of these was the life sucking depression that I was left with from a childhood full of abuse by a drunkard of a stepfather.

While I was withdrawn into myself, I never let my residents and patients know it- neither did my co-workers. On the outside I was a lighthearted and easy going individual that never seemed to let anything get to him. But inside I was a deeply disturbed individuals with thoughts of harming himself and never feeling adequate to try and have any semblance of a life of my own. After all I kept thinking, 'who would want a man with as much emotional baggage as me? If God didn't want me- why would anyone else?' Was God my enemy? Of course not- but I wasn't raised in a Christian oriented house and I knew just enough of God to squeak by.

I was quiet and kept to myself- never allowing anyone to get close and distancing myself from everyone- especially those that could help me most. I now know that it wasn't me that did that but it was Satan- he knew what joys would lay ahead for me if I turned towards God and away from him and everything he had constructed for me would come tumbling down like a house of cards...so he played his dirtiest trick- and the one that almost cost me everything.

Thanksgiving Night 2001 was the night that everything changed...

I was working in the paliative unit that day taking care of dying residents with no hope of getting better and I couldn't take it anymore. Yes, I'd seen death, but this was different. I got into the medical field to help people- not to simply ease them into death.

That evening I spent with my parents and my uncle down in Shell Knob MO trying to forget the evil thoughts in my head- thoughts of pain, suffering and even death. The company was good, the food was great, but my mind was dark and closing in on itself especially as I went to sleep...

Around midnight I woke with a start and the greatest battle I've been part of took place in the house where I was abused the most as a child...

I made my way to the sunroom by the fireplace and grabbed my dads 12 guage shotgun. Now to make a long story short- and to keep from rehashing dead memories- I was going to put an end to my life to get Satan out of my head and to end the pain I was feeling inside forever.

I had the note written and ready for them to find along with my body as well as the weapon- and with my medical training I wasn't going to make any mistakes and live like a vegetable...no way.

But something strange happened that I had never anticipated...

I paused momentarily and a part of me that was buried under all the guilt and shame reached out for help, I didn't think about God or anything else but I knew I desperately didn't want to die- but I didn't want to live this way either.

Reaching down I tried to lift that same shotgun I had just lifted from the gunrack not even ten minutes earlier and to my surprise- I found it to heavy to lift! It didn't even budge! I jerked and flailed with the weapon to get it off the ground, eventually pulling so hard that I flew backwards and cracked my head ont he woorpile and nocking some sense into me...that was the first time that I knew god was watching out for me- but I wasn't ready for him yet...

No that would come after I met a really close friend of mine through work- when I met Tiffany I met a person that was so enthusiastic about her faith and her belief in God and with everything that she had been through in her 26 years of hard living I realized that if this young woman could find God after everything that she had lived through- then maybe I wasn't such a lost cause afterall. True it would mean turning to a life that's completely unknown to me- but the rewards would be worth it, or so I've been told and so I believe.

Now I've found a life that I can finally be proud of. With friends that truly want me to get better. I still have demons to face and many more battles to fight before this war can be called a victory. But now I have the ultimate weapons in my life- family and friends that believe in me, a God that I no longer have my back to and am listening for when he calls me again and a newfound strength of self that life is worth living and living without a black fog over my head. It's taken almost 27 years, but I finally reached that plateau. And you know something? Life is finally smelling sweet again...

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